I have no real inspiration. I just want to sleep. I feel like a failure. I am so sad I could cry for days. Everything hurts. My thoughts won’t stop.
Depression is upon me. Oh who am I kidding? Depression SURROUNDS me. Writing this blog may very well be the most productive thing I have done all day.
I had a really shitty therapy appointment yesterday. It has made me not want to even continue with it. I am sick of therapy. I am sick of being depressed. I am sick of the anxiety obstacles. Most of all I am sick of not living my life. How fucking depressing it is to not live your life. I had goals, I had dreams, stupid depression and anxiety always gets in the way.
I am sick of not moving forward but I don’t know how to move forward. I feel so stuck in a rut I can’t even begin to imagine clawing my way close to out. I am to the point where I am willing to completely immerse myself in the few things I still love and seeing what happens. That means I actually have to try and not worry about the possibility of not succeeding.
Easy to type, not so easy to execute.
