Tag: in search of happiness

For the first time in 12 years I am piercing-free.  In my face.  I still have a few in my ears, one in my navel and one in my right nipple.

I am not exactly sure what happened.  I was not planning on removing any piercings.  I actually just wanted to change my nose studs.  In changing my (double) nose piercing I suddenly found myself missing my face, sans jewelry.  So out of curiosity I decided (today) to remove my double nose studs, the last of my facial piercings.

I used to have my upper lip pierced a la monroe/madonna piercing, my labret, my tongue, and the double nose studs.  And today, about 12 years after my first facial piercing I took out the 2 that remained.

I have missed my non-pierced face… a little.  It is a treat to wash my face without any jewellery in it.  So smooth.  Not to mention blowing my always-running nose is a little nicer.

I have found over the years that I have been less and less satisfied with the placement of one out of the 2 holes.  To the point that I actually do regret getting it.  Secondly, I have had a hard time finding jewellery that I both love and trust enough to put in my face.  I want it to be pretty but I also want it to be a safe material resting in my skin.  Ultimately curiosity got the cat and I was just curious as to how I would look without my nostril pierced.  I think I like it.  I can’t promise I won’t add something new at some point in the not so distant future but I am kinda digging my naked nose.

I still love piercings and the world of piercing itself.  I have just come to realize that for me personally, I used my piercings as a coping mechanism.  I hid behind them in a way.  They served their purpose and that is great but as I am changing so is my preference for certain things as well as possibly even my style.

I have found a new (to me) style that I find myself gravitating towards.  I don’t know what one would call it per sae but I am diggin’ it.  My latest style role model is Stella Lugosi (find her on insta @stella.lugosi).  I love her high bun, her lovely brows, and her overall look.  I love the single septum piercing.  I am seriously considering getting one… as soon as I muster up the courage to do so…. and I am feeling really good and excited about it, about me, evolving yet again, into the me that I am most comfortable being.  When I look at Stella’s pictures not only do I appreciate and admire her beauty but I get a very comforting feeling.

*sips tea*

I don’t really know what the future holds but I do know that I am/will learn to love myself and will put myself and my feelings first.  No more pretending to be okay with things I am not okay with.  No more sacrificing myself for others happiness.  I am starting to remember who I was, who I am, and who I want to be.  I lost myself before, I am not willing to loose myself again.  To be completely lost and not even know oneself anymore is a frightening and exhausting thing.  I am still lost but I am finally finding my way, and for the first time in my life I don’t want to stop.  I want to keep going.  To do better, to be better.  To be whole and happy within myself.