I have loved putting together outfits since as long as I can remember. Even in Kindergarten I longed to be in control of my wardrobe. I still remember some of the outfits my mom used to make me wear – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We just don’t share the same taste in all facets of fashion.
In High School I spent my spares in the library mulling over any fashion magazine I could find. Drinking in the style. I would then sketch out outfits in my sketchbook, wether I had the item in my closet or not, if I had a cool outfit idea I had to sketch it out. I was overjoyed when we learned a little bit of pattern making in 9th grade Home Ec. I was tickled pink to make my first pair of pants – a forest green pair of wide-leg track pants with an elastic waist (it was the late 90’s and I was having a “wide-leg” phase). I learned to crochet too, creating scarves and accessories for myself. I haven’t sewn any wear-ables in ages but I continue to crochet from time to time.
In College I took Art & Design as well as Makeup Artistry courses. Though I enjoyed these programs and I was and am able to apply much of what I have learned to fashion it wasn’t my passion. I had originally wanted to attend Ryerson University in Toronto for Fashion Design. By the time it was time for me to go to College I could not fathom moving out as my anxiety had begun to take hold. I don’t really regret it as I know myself and myself just couldn’t do it. Perhaps I should have made myself try anyways but whatever, it is what it is. I have found something that both brings me the joy and feeling of passion I have been searching for AS WELL AS helping me to keep my mind busy and off of the million and one anxious thoughts that swirl in my brain.
When I am picking out outfits, planning videos, filming, and editing I feel good. I can get lost in it and the hours fly by. I feel content. It makes me feel good about myself. I don’t worry or overthink anything, I just do what my creative self feels like and it is fantastic. I make videos out of the pure enjoyment of filming and editing and I don’t do it for anyone else but myself. Yes, I share them to YouTube but inevitably I am doing them for me. If you happen to watch and like them then that is an added BONUS :D.
I feel proud of myself when I see what I have created. And I love knowing that one day, when I am not here, my videos will be, or that in 10, 20, 30+ years I can look back at myself “in living colour” and remember that fragment of time. A fragment of time where I am just lost in the moment of doing what I love. I am not sad, depressed, anxious, or angry. I am happy, content, and ambitious.
I plan to continue filming and blogging because it makes me feel like the person I want to be. For those who read, watch, follow, and subscribe I thank you SO MUCH for sharing an interest in me and my journey. I appreciate your support more then you will ever know.