Here again. Granted I only have myself to blame. The signs were there. I chose not to see them.
I’m on leave. My Mental Health has reached a state where I can’t Life right now. I can’t People right now. I’m sick of masking myself. It’s exhausting.
I need a break. I am taking a break. And I will not be bullied into doing anything before I am ready. They tell you to reach out if you need help, there is help. There MAY indeed be help but there are still entirely too many ignorant people in the System that outright bully and belittle. My younger self may have folded. My adult self will not tolerate this. I digress.
For the first time in a long time I am being honest with myself. I am not happy and I do not wish to sacrifice any more of myself to greedy corporations who are only looking out for their best interests. I need to look out for mine. That means returning to Therapy. I did not see that coming a few years back but here we are. I may need to adjust my work schedule should I return. I need to dive passionately into my love of Creativity as it is truly one of the few things that makes me happy.
“What have I been doing?” I have been asked.
“Crocheting” is my answer.
Some days I only get out of bed to work on a current WIP or Design I have in my head. I have recently stumbled upon the Crochet Community and I am into it. I’ve been Crocheting for YEARS on and off. I learned quite young and have always gravitated towards it especially in times of Metal Strife. I can slip away into my stitches and if nothing else I can see that I have done something with my time, even if only a few stitches or rows.