I have no real inspiration. I just want to sleep. I feel like a failure. I am so sad I could cry for days. Everything hurts. My thoughts won’t stop.
Depression is upon me. Oh who am I kidding? Depression SURROUNDS me. Writing this blog may very well be the most productive thing I have done all day.
I had a really shitty therapy appointment yesterday. It has made me not want to even continue with it. I am sick of therapy. I am sick of being depressed. I am sick of the anxiety obstacles. Most of all I am sick of not living my life. How fucking depressing it is to not live your life. I had goals, I had dreams, stupid depression and anxiety always gets in the way.
I am sick of not moving forward but I don’t know how to move forward. I feel so stuck in a rut I can’t even begin to imagine clawing my way close to out. I am to the point where I am willing to completely immerse myself in the few things I still love and seeing what happens. That means I actually have to try and not worry about the possibility of not succeeding. Easy to type, not so easy to execute.
Fuck you depression! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!